Something's in my brain

The brain is a complicated. Do you remember studying it back in 6th grade and had trouble memorizing its parts because its parts has its own parts and those parts has its on parts and so own and so forth? But then you grow older and memorizing the parts of the brain is the last thing that you can ever think about. Now, you're dealing with this little voices in your head. For some, like me, I don't know where they came from or what triggers them. One day you're all sun shines and rainbows, then the next day, you just want to sleep and not to talk to anyone. I got used to it though. People say I'm strong and independent and I always live up to their expectations. Even my own mother believes I can do and carry anything. And I did. For 4 years, I was fine (or so I thought). Sure, I had some episodes where I can hear it again but not as loud as it is right now. 

Isolation. The year is 2021 and there's a pandemic going around; forcing people to shut their doors and stay inside the four corners of their home. People finally found a time to spend with their family and bond with siblings. With the help of social media, people started to see and focus on different issues in the world. The internet got louder, like really loud. But as isolation stretched it's mark, it wasn't just the internet who got louder. Slowly, this void and hollowness creeped in to most of those who tried to be okay. Who fought to be the person that they where before the virus changed everything. People who tried to hang on to the things that they have built; careers, relationships and stability. Pieces of what we used to be keeps on falling to this void every single day and we can't do anything about it. We embrace the small portion that was left, tighter and tighter, because we remembered how we gave more than what we could for the recognition that we attained and this small portion is the only thing that was left. I have been holding on to the image that I have built. I did. With every strength that I had left. But it broke me .I don't know how or when it happened but a lot of thoughts that I assumed were gone kept on knocking in every corner of my skull. It's been hard. Tears kept on falling down my eyes but I don't know why, well, maybe I do but its just too many that I can't pin point which is which. Curious, the human brain, isn't it? You thought you're okay then years later you find yourself in the same dump. 

I'm sorry, but my mind is not at its best right now. I'm still trying to pick myself up but I just don't know where to start. I'm tired of being strong. I feel so exhausted and empty. I don't know what to do.